I kept meaning to post last week, but a blinding rage kept overcoming my typing abilities. It might have something to do with the fact that, not only did "Blurred Lines" stay at the top spot for yet another week, but One Direction released a song that debuted at number 2. And virtually nothing else about the charts changed. Which is all kinds of wrong.
So you can imagine my delight when I checked this week's chart and discovered that "Best Song Ever" (UGH YOUR VANITY HURTS MY BRAIN) has sunk down into the 11-20 section of the charts, a zone I once referred to as the graveyard of hits. It might not be gone forever, but I will gladly take the consolation prize of what did reach the top this week. I'm excited.
#10: "Love Somebody" by Maroon 5
Weeks on Chart: 11
Peak: 10
Rank Shift: +4
I'm not excited for this, though. I liked Maroon 5 back when I was, like, ten years old. You know. Back when they were releasing songs like "This Love" that sounded like they might be alluding to things that a Catholic kid should find offensive and vulgar, but instead just made a good tune more alluring because of the sense that listening to it was an act of defiance, if a weak one. I like some songs from this era of the band, but my patience for Adam Levine's vocals wears thin faster than it used to. Probably because they are boring right now, plus they took the whiny vibe from "Wake Up Call," stripped out the irony, and turned it up to eleven on half of what they release these days.
"Boring" and "whiny" are only two of the flaws in "Love Somebody," and they're not the ones that actively keep me from enjoying the song, which musically isn't the worst thing they've unleashed on the unsuspecting public lately. Nah, what really gets my goat is how disingenuous it all sounds. The song is presented like it's this love confession, but the lyrics just state that Levine's horny and will take what he can get at this point. I really don't like when songs are so deliberately careless with how they use the word "love," which is probably a story for a different post. Point is, this whole attitude kills my enjoyment of the song. Overall, meh. I'd ask M5 to return to being interesting, but they've learned by now that they don't need to be in order to turn a profit.
#9: "Safe and Sound" by Capital Cities
Weeks on Chart: 14
Peak: 9
Rank Shift: +6(!)
YESSSSSSSS! As you may have gathered from an earlier post, this song, for me, is the opposite of Kryptonite. It ameliorates all kinds of unpleasant, stressful things, like having a long day at work, becoming exhausted after hours of driving, or listening to bad pop music. Listening to it is like listening to concentrated joy. The music video is the happy cherry on top of a gleeful sundae. And it has really good trumpets! For whatever reason, disco-inspired tracks seem to be coming back, and if it's going to be like this and "Get Lucky," then by all means, let it continue. Hopefully, it won't lean too far into "Blurred Lines" territory, but, well, Sturgeon's Law exists for a reason. At any rate, I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that Capital Cities gets even more exposure, because they're a super fun group and this world needs more spontaneous dance numbers.
#8: "Clarity" by Zedd feat. Foxes
Weeks on Chart: 20
Peak: #8
Rank Shift: +5
This song is a shining example of how being a cheapskate and getting your music for free on iTunes can ruin you. I had this song back in October of last year, which meant that I had already listened to it at least a hundred times and gotten thoroughly burnt out on it by the time it started getting minor airplay. Don't get me wrong, it's a great track and I'm delighted that it's in the top ten. It's just that liking things before they're popular can bite you in the butt every now and again, especially in conversations like this:
*song comes on*
me: "This again? Really?" *changes the station*
Watson: "Hey, I like this song!"
me: "But, I've been listening to this for, like, six months, and what about you, you've been hearing this in my room since, like, February at least!"
Watson: "It's still newer to me, Sherlock."
me: "...it is a good song..." *changes back*
Moral of the story: don't talk about how long you've known about a song, even if you're kind of sick of hearing it. People will think you're a hipster. And that's terrible.
#7: "Treasure" by Bruno Mars
Weeks on Chart: 12
Peak: 5
Rank Shift: -1
My opinions haven't much changed in a week and a half. I did almost sit through it several times. But then I changed the channel. There's something about this song that is just slightly worse than "meh" to me, and I just don't care enough to give it a better chance.
#6: "Cups (Pitch Perfect's When I'm Gone)" by Anna Kendrick
Weeks on Chart: 32
Peak: 6
Rank Shift: +2
Woo! Get it, girl! Seriously, only have positive noises to make about this song, and I want it to stick around for a few more weeks.
#5: "Holy Grail" by Jay Z feat. Justin Timberlake
Weeks on Chart: 4
Peak: 5
Rank Shift: +2
Still don't have much to say, so some stray observations:
- Despite listening to Top 40 stations which circulate rap as well as the more sugary forms of popular music, I still have yet to hear this on the radio.
- I can't tell if this song is big based solely on single sales or if it's including album sales. Given what it is, I prefer to believe the latter.
- I am also the opposite of okay with the way "Smells Like Teen Spirit" is invoked.
#4: "Get Lucky" by Daft Punk feat. Pharrell Williams
Weeks on Chart: 16
Peak: 2
Rank Shift: +1
Yeah, keep struggling! I think I fall more in love with this song every week. It's infuriating that it's only fourth highest in the nation. It deserves so much more. Are we going to dance to "Best Song Ever" at our college reunions? The answer is irrelevant, because the point is, we definitely will dance to this. Assuming we go.
#3: "Radioactive" by Imagine Dragons
Weeks on Chart: 49
Peak: 3
Rank Shift: +1
Wow, this song is coming up on a year on the charts. That's absurd. I'd like to think that maybe they'd top the chart for their anniversary, but that is almost certainly too much to hope for. I still like this song. It's still a good song. Maybe it'll crawl a little higher.
#2: "We Can't Stop" by Miley Cyrus
Weeks on Chart: 9
Peak: 2
Rank Shift: +1
If this is the next top song in America, I will revolt. I don't know what revolting will entail; maybe I'll eat a lot of vegetables instead of ice cream. Doesn't that sound awful? Don't let her get it, America. Don't do it.
#1: "Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke feat. T.I. and Pharrell Williams
Weeks on Chart: 16
Peak: 1
Rank Shift: 0
I was going to say that this is a better #1 for America than "We Can't Stop," but then I realized that that would mean saying that a rape anthem is less detrimental to society than a rich-white-girls-doing-drugs anthem, and that one of these things can occur to a far larger segment of the population. Seriously, American music-purchasing public: what are you doing? Have you stopped and really thought about what you're doing, at any point during this eight-week adventure? Look, I realize that he looks like that dude from that show, but is that even a point in his favor? Don't answer that.
Okay, top two aside, this was a really great week for music. Did you all see how much changed?! Like, for instance, did any of you fine, fine people observe the absence of "Cruise" by Florida Georgia Line? That, my esteemed readers, is at least some of the progress that America needs. And I'm not even just excited because the chart is currently a lot of things I like. Nah, there's more stuff that I like that's clawing its way up hand over fist, stuff that might even be scraping the lower tiers of the top ten by the time school starts. I can dream, right? And right now, the dream doesn't even seem that far-fetched.
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